Resume
Bryan Ayres Ryder
I always attempt perfection, I accept criticism, and I work towards the goals of the team.
I'm a dependable, intelligent, and hard working individual.
Work Experience
Self Employed Springfield, MO (1/13-Present)
Position: Contractor, Owner/Operator, Inventor
Lesson Learned: I am passionately involved with my personal growth and deeply invested into the growth of humanity.
Skills Earned: Adeptly learning new skills
Hancock Fabrics Springfield, MO (10/13-5/14)
Position: Part-time sales associate
Lesson Learned: You can't fix someone that doesn't want to be fixed
Skills Earned: Understanding of financial statements, corporate environment ethics
Mediacom Springfield, MO (10/12-04/13)
Position: Dispatch
Lesson Learned: I’m a talented communicator.
Skills Earned: Expressing complicated information quickly and precisely through dialogue alone and keying that into detailed records.
Kum & Go Springfield, MO (2/12-9/12)
Position: Sales Associate
Lesson Learned: It’s important to keep humanity in mind.
Skills Earned: Efficiency, inventory management
Lightning Delivery Springfield, MO (12/09-2/12)
Position: Delivery Driver
Lesson Learned: I work very efficiently when given a large work load.
Skills Earned: Customer service, time management
Walmart #2221 Springfield, MO (06/09-12/09)
Position: Sales Associate
Lesson Learned: Even when under appreciated I am utterly dependable.
Skills Earned: Stocking, self training
Vannicolo's Landscaping Preston, MO (10/05-06/09)
Position: Landscaper
Lesson Learned: I am loyal to people and dedicated to whatever I do.
Skills Earned: Power tools, concept construction
Simple Simon's Pizza Paola, KS (10/03-10/05 & 4/01-11/02)
Position: Asst. Manager
Lesson Learned: Accepting more responsibility for less compensation can be better in the long term.
Skills Earned: Management, communication
Lock/line Insurance Salina, KS (11/02-10/03)
Position: Call center CSR
Lesson Learned: Always read contracts before signing them.
Skills Earned: 10-key, ~ 65 wpm qwerty
Lakemary (Assisted Living) Paola, KS (5/00-4/01)
Position: Life Skills Trainer
Lesson Learned: I like to sacrifice myself for others.
Skills Earned: Managing people with developmental disabilities to perform tasks.
State Fair Community College - Associate of Arts Degree
FEMA - National Incident Management System (NIMS)
Paola High School - High School Diploma
Volunteer Experience (I want to expand this some day)
Waste Watchers Recycling
Osage Beach, MO
Was on the Board as Grounds Keeper, volunteered ~ 20 hours for collection, and single handedly installed a security camera.
Earth Day (Planted 100+ trees)
Preston, MO
Was the lone organizer for the food, lodging, materials, and processes of six people.
Volunteer Firefighter
Preston, MO
Responded with Mike Vannicolo to fire calls.
Helped with the construction of three churches
Hermitage First Baptist, Clarksburg Baptist, and Marceline First Baptist all in Missouri.
Beta Pi Eta a chapter of Phi Theta Kappa at State Fair CC
Osage Beach, MO
Founding of the organization (internal requirements), promotion (Adopt-A-Highway & Toys for Tots collection), fundraising (Halloween caramel apple sale & Christmas tree sale).
My Father's House – homeless shelter
(~5 months)
Paola, KS
Did various chores including organizing, gathering contributions, and construction.
Meals on Wheels (~10 months)
Paola, KS
Used my personal vehicle and gas to deliver meals twice a week to elderly people.
Lifetime Career Goals
Dedicate my life to the responsible development of humanity.
Gain control of resources for the good of the people.
Keep as busy as I can possibly handle.
Help clean the Earth.
Unite mankind.
Have fun.
Education Timeline (so far)
Fort Scott Community College
97 – 99
Dual Credit classes
Kansas University
State Fair community College
2005 – 2007
Associates in Art’s Degree
Missouri State University
Presently Attending
Bachelor’s of Philosophy
I always attempt perfection, I accept criticism, and I work towards the goals of the team.
I'm a dependable, intelligent, and hard working individual.
Work Experience
Self Employed Springfield, MO (1/13-Present)
Position: Contractor, Owner/Operator, Inventor
Lesson Learned: I am passionately involved with my personal growth and deeply invested into the growth of humanity.
Skills Earned: Adeptly learning new skills
Hancock Fabrics Springfield, MO (10/13-5/14)
Position: Part-time sales associate
Lesson Learned: You can't fix someone that doesn't want to be fixed
Skills Earned: Understanding of financial statements, corporate environment ethics
Mediacom Springfield, MO (10/12-04/13)
Position: Dispatch
Lesson Learned: I’m a talented communicator.
Skills Earned: Expressing complicated information quickly and precisely through dialogue alone and keying that into detailed records.
Kum & Go Springfield, MO (2/12-9/12)
Position: Sales Associate
Lesson Learned: It’s important to keep humanity in mind.
Skills Earned: Efficiency, inventory management
Lightning Delivery Springfield, MO (12/09-2/12)
Position: Delivery Driver
Lesson Learned: I work very efficiently when given a large work load.
Skills Earned: Customer service, time management
Walmart #2221 Springfield, MO (06/09-12/09)
Position: Sales Associate
Lesson Learned: Even when under appreciated I am utterly dependable.
Skills Earned: Stocking, self training
Vannicolo's Landscaping Preston, MO (10/05-06/09)
Position: Landscaper
Lesson Learned: I am loyal to people and dedicated to whatever I do.
Skills Earned: Power tools, concept construction
Simple Simon's Pizza Paola, KS (10/03-10/05 & 4/01-11/02)
Position: Asst. Manager
Lesson Learned: Accepting more responsibility for less compensation can be better in the long term.
Skills Earned: Management, communication
Lock/line Insurance Salina, KS (11/02-10/03)
Position: Call center CSR
Lesson Learned: Always read contracts before signing them.
Skills Earned: 10-key, ~ 65 wpm qwerty
Lakemary (Assisted Living) Paola, KS (5/00-4/01)
Position: Life Skills Trainer
Lesson Learned: I like to sacrifice myself for others.
Skills Earned: Managing people with developmental disabilities to perform tasks.
State Fair Community College - Associate of Arts Degree
FEMA - National Incident Management System (NIMS)
Paola High School - High School Diploma
Volunteer Experience (I want to expand this some day)
Waste Watchers Recycling
Osage Beach, MO
Was on the Board as Grounds Keeper, volunteered ~ 20 hours for collection, and single handedly installed a security camera.
Earth Day (Planted 100+ trees)
Preston, MO
Was the lone organizer for the food, lodging, materials, and processes of six people.
Volunteer Firefighter
Preston, MO
Responded with Mike Vannicolo to fire calls.
Helped with the construction of three churches
Hermitage First Baptist, Clarksburg Baptist, and Marceline First Baptist all in Missouri.
Beta Pi Eta a chapter of Phi Theta Kappa at State Fair CC
Osage Beach, MO
Founding of the organization (internal requirements), promotion (Adopt-A-Highway & Toys for Tots collection), fundraising (Halloween caramel apple sale & Christmas tree sale).
My Father's House – homeless shelter
(~5 months)
Paola, KS
Did various chores including organizing, gathering contributions, and construction.
Meals on Wheels (~10 months)
Paola, KS
Used my personal vehicle and gas to deliver meals twice a week to elderly people.
Lifetime Career Goals
Dedicate my life to the responsible development of humanity.
Gain control of resources for the good of the people.
Keep as busy as I can possibly handle.
Help clean the Earth.
Unite mankind.
Have fun.
Education Timeline (so far)
Fort Scott Community College
97 – 99
Dual Credit classes
Kansas University
State Fair community College
2005 – 2007
Associates in Art’s Degree
Missouri State University
Presently Attending
Bachelor’s of Philosophy
Biography
My name is Bryan Ayres Ryder. There's an oddness and a kind of abstract symmetry to my name that I like so in formal introductions I do like to give all three of my names. In a bizarre and irrational way I am proud of my names, but anyway...
If you have read my goals then you already have a clear idea of who I say I am but there is still the bit of my experience that some will find useful to help better understand why I am this way. And while an autobiography is little more than a story we create about ourselves to help understand our self I like even my wrongs and failings to be included in the truth of who I am. In my heart of hearts I am a philosopher and a deeply spiritual person and so I have long sought a more complete picture of the ultimate truths resident in the experience we call life or reality. I believe that an intuitive person will be able to read what I write here and see through to the truths about myself I explicitly reveal, the ones I imply, and even see through to the truths that I still wish to hide. But like I said, to the best of my ability I will try to reveal everything for how can another person know their own ultimate truths if even a truth seeker such as myself would not reveal what I have found, regardless of what it means to the minds of the ignorant.
My earliest life memories have been easily partitioned for me because for the first five years of my life I lived in a house with my parents which they fixed up and sold. One of those first memories before I was five years old was that of my uncle Ken saying of me that I, 'ask a lot of questions and that was a very good thing.' Upon hearing that the encouraged kid of me became excited and I remember redoubling my efforts at pestering nearby adults with unanswered questions. I have forever cherished this memory but it was only in my mid 20's that it occurred to me that this simple comment may have stuck firmly in my subconsciousness and may have been a sole directive for my entire life.
Also before I was older than five and just before we moved out of that older house I was "helping" my dad put a doorknob in a new door he was hanging. He was in the process of drilling the hole out and from the other side of the closed door I saw him stick his finger in it to see how smooth it was inside. With neither of us knowing what the other was doing I too stuck my finger in to feel it but I was too slow in removing it and my dad drilled in it once more. This tore the end of my right index finger almost entirely off and I remember seeing hanging by a flap of skin. To this day my dad carries regret for the accident which whenever the story is retold I try to help him forgive himself for. Personally, I am somewhat proud of the whole experience because while I definitely cried quite a bit I had my mind about me as well. I remember that with my hand resting on a wet towel pressed over it I sat on the couch waiting for the ambulance to arrive while my parents panicked and I asked my mom beside me to tell me a story (to help take my mind off of the pain). Although I can't say I remember in detail what she said all I remember was that the first words out of her mouth were, "Um, just think of sunny fields and rainbows." This was pretty disappointing to me, although I can't say that a story would have been much more help to take my mind off of the pain, but it was what it was. Just a very good lesson to me that it is true what Buddhists say, "Life is suffering".
My finger miraculously healed back onto my hand and I regained feeling although I am not able to bend the tip at all. In first through sixth grades I formed the only friends I would really carry with me and trust through till present day. I remember that as puberty came my way I became far less confident in what I knew about my self and my peers. Their ever increasingly erratic behavior disturbed me and I couldn't understand why they would say and do the things they did. For the most part I don't believe I really changed much except to become much more introspective and thoughtful. But not thoughtful in a pleasantly outgoing way, rather, I was painfully shy (both painfully for myself and others).
People seemed to be able to see the good in me and so although I was shy and had my close kept group of friends I was mostly left alone by the ones who would be considered bullies. I do like to think that in my darkest times the meanest people could see that I was good and that it would be best to just leave me alone. Only once did I have to fight for myself and it wasn't a bad scuffle. Afterwards neither of us were bruised and we could be around each other without bothering the other.
Highschool was much worse for me than it could have been. By this time I was in a fairly constant state of high anxiety and depression. I won't fight for first place amongst those who were the scared and depressed in high school but I can say with certainty that my experience was an extreme version of what most people experience. But I was so highly idealistic that the idea of taking antidepressants for my "problem" was totally out of the question. A highly intuitive adult deeply involved in my life may have been able to diagnose and get me the proper medication but that was not in my cards. For the most part I was left to my own devices and anyone who took interest faced a solid wall of smoldering self sufficiency. Advice was given to me and grudgingly listened to. And while I do know I listened to everything anyone had to say in the way of advice and would even take it to heart there had to be some sort of impenetrable wall I was putting up, a vicious cone of silence, that firmly deterred people from taking an interest in me. But while in one respect I craved a certain kind of attention for the most part I was too afraid to accept the usual kind of attention that anyone would give me. I lived a life of constant solace and melancholy, but mostly melancholy. I knew I wanted my space and I made every effort at keeping a distance from people I didn't understand, peers and adults alike.
I didn't date in highschool but I did go out and had plenty of wild adventures and dreams with my friends. I suppose I sacrificed one for the other in a way as my friends got into drugs earlierish and after putting up huge resistance against joining them I was eventually broken down and realized I deeply resented the early propaganda that was DARE's influence for its totally biased opinion delivered as absolute facts. I wanted nothing more than to do the right thing and I often thought, prayed, and meditated for knowledge as to just what the right thing was. At first I thought that doing drugs was not the right then, later, I didn't care. Too much depression clouded my judgement and I was having far too interesting and entertaining experiences experimenting with whatever drugs I could get my hands on.
Not all my friends did drugs and at first my other friends didn't do drugs all of the time so I suppose you could say I eased into a steady state of inebriation. It didn't matter what it was, I was interested. All altered states were so fascinating to me and while inebriated I didn't feel the pain of depression nor too much anxiety (so long as I kept myself out of party type situations) so the fascination became more of a habit.
After highschool I had a short summer of drugs that I don't remember except as being full of the hope that now that I was free I could go out into the world to make my stake and make the world a better place, regardless of what it took or what I had to do. I went to college and barely lasted a semester. I was alone, had next to no access to drugs, and my depression annihilated my ability to work on learning even while I never missed any classes. I made the hard decision to leave after that first semester knowing that I couldn't continue to spend the money whilst I was not having a good experience or learning anything at all. It didn't help though that my first semester all I took was chemestry, math, and intro bs psychology.
The next five years were a blurring wiz of drugs and depression. With my public face I took care of people with developmental disabilities and worked a various assortment of other bottom feeder jobs. I volunteered a little bit. But mostly I spent my time trying to figure out life and myself. At one point I spent a year alone in Salina, KS trying to figure out if my depression was due to myself or my associations and decisions but I discovered that both aspects played an equal part in my life.
By the time I returned to Paola I was ready to start trying medications to fight my depression. I knew in my heart that there was nothing so terrible in my life that it was causing me to feel that way so it had to be some sort of chemical imbalance. It turned out I was right but still the trial and error process to figure out which medicine took another decade to figure out. During that time I tried them all for the recommended periods of time on at least two occasions and after the first five years we were trying combinations. Also through that length of time I had many different counselors (each one better than the last, thank God) and through their help and my perseverance a distant light slowly approached my life.
Near the end of this time period, from 2007 and on, I had gone back to school, earned my associates degree, and was working on a Bachelors in Philosophy with a Religious Studies minor. I was more studying those things for myself than for the job opportunities it would provide but I did have the expectation that I would be able to apply my studies towards anything that I was led to do just because of the critical thinking nature of it all.
Also in this time period I was discovered by my wife, and after several years and moving in with one another she proposed to me and we got married a couple of years later when we could afford to pay for a ceremony and short honeymoon. All that took so much time though because I was so unsure with myself and my depression still that I couldn't imagine dragging another person into such closeness of my life. I never wanted to subject another person to be in such proximity to me that they too experienced the depression that I constantly battled. But even though I told her many times that I didn't ever see us getting married she learned me and knew what she wanted and so when she proposed to me my love for her wouldn't allow me to say no.
We have still suffered but since that time I have finally come to a medicine, and a backup medicine, that has kept me depression free for over a couple years now and we are now living in the light at the end of that hugely disturbing and distant trip of self discovery I have been on. At this present time, 9/8/2013 we are battered and busted but not broken. We are in debt to our ears and we live from blessing to blessing but now the opportunities we are given aren't sometimes passed up or let down. We are struggling on a daily basis but we can see around us that we have done well and we have every reason to suspect that we are entering a very green spring in our financial and emotional lives. We have never been able to keep up plants but now every one of them is green and flowering and we have never applied ourselves right to find work that is appropriate to us and makes us happy but now we send out applications every day. And we are seeing the fruits of our labors before we get too exhausted to care anymore. We have every reason to believe that soon we won't have to be dependent on the kindness of our family and strangers but we will be able to return the favor to all those around us. Of course, the hurdles continue to arise but we have a way of anticipating them and accepting them whereas in the past all we could think of was to wonder how God to be so cruel as to kick the downtrodden. It has been no picnic but now we know how to deal with bad weather, ants, and to pack expecting the worst only to be prepared and to be thankful when the worst doesn't happen.
And all though the years we have done these things without ever slipping in our beliefs or selling our dignity so far that we haven't been able to reclaim what we lost. I won't say that we didn't give up a time or two and I can't say that we have always done the right thing. But we can look back and know that we haven't burned other people so badly that they went away from us and will never return. We look forward to the days when we can repay all the favors that have been passed to us, to pay it forward to others who are going through those times like us, and to enjoy the finer things in life without selling our most fundamental beliefs in the simple nature of things and the goodness that complete strangers can share.
So that's my story in a nutshell. The details (like in everyone's life) would make a book that someone might care to write some day but basically all I wanted to share was that my life hasn't been perfect but I am an honest person willing to work cheap for the right people. The right people being individuals and small businesses (as opposed to large companies) that simply show that they too are honest and in need. Because I believe that ultimately the most important thing in life is just the life that lives it and I will go far out of my way to protect it. But you don't have to take my word for it on that one because there is plenty of work to be done in this world and I am more than willing to do it. If you see me and speak with me you will quickly learn what I am doing in each moment to do just that, protect life from itself and others. We have nothing to fear; don't even fear 'fear' itself.
sincerely,
bryan
If you have read my goals then you already have a clear idea of who I say I am but there is still the bit of my experience that some will find useful to help better understand why I am this way. And while an autobiography is little more than a story we create about ourselves to help understand our self I like even my wrongs and failings to be included in the truth of who I am. In my heart of hearts I am a philosopher and a deeply spiritual person and so I have long sought a more complete picture of the ultimate truths resident in the experience we call life or reality. I believe that an intuitive person will be able to read what I write here and see through to the truths about myself I explicitly reveal, the ones I imply, and even see through to the truths that I still wish to hide. But like I said, to the best of my ability I will try to reveal everything for how can another person know their own ultimate truths if even a truth seeker such as myself would not reveal what I have found, regardless of what it means to the minds of the ignorant.
My earliest life memories have been easily partitioned for me because for the first five years of my life I lived in a house with my parents which they fixed up and sold. One of those first memories before I was five years old was that of my uncle Ken saying of me that I, 'ask a lot of questions and that was a very good thing.' Upon hearing that the encouraged kid of me became excited and I remember redoubling my efforts at pestering nearby adults with unanswered questions. I have forever cherished this memory but it was only in my mid 20's that it occurred to me that this simple comment may have stuck firmly in my subconsciousness and may have been a sole directive for my entire life.
Also before I was older than five and just before we moved out of that older house I was "helping" my dad put a doorknob in a new door he was hanging. He was in the process of drilling the hole out and from the other side of the closed door I saw him stick his finger in it to see how smooth it was inside. With neither of us knowing what the other was doing I too stuck my finger in to feel it but I was too slow in removing it and my dad drilled in it once more. This tore the end of my right index finger almost entirely off and I remember seeing hanging by a flap of skin. To this day my dad carries regret for the accident which whenever the story is retold I try to help him forgive himself for. Personally, I am somewhat proud of the whole experience because while I definitely cried quite a bit I had my mind about me as well. I remember that with my hand resting on a wet towel pressed over it I sat on the couch waiting for the ambulance to arrive while my parents panicked and I asked my mom beside me to tell me a story (to help take my mind off of the pain). Although I can't say I remember in detail what she said all I remember was that the first words out of her mouth were, "Um, just think of sunny fields and rainbows." This was pretty disappointing to me, although I can't say that a story would have been much more help to take my mind off of the pain, but it was what it was. Just a very good lesson to me that it is true what Buddhists say, "Life is suffering".
My finger miraculously healed back onto my hand and I regained feeling although I am not able to bend the tip at all. In first through sixth grades I formed the only friends I would really carry with me and trust through till present day. I remember that as puberty came my way I became far less confident in what I knew about my self and my peers. Their ever increasingly erratic behavior disturbed me and I couldn't understand why they would say and do the things they did. For the most part I don't believe I really changed much except to become much more introspective and thoughtful. But not thoughtful in a pleasantly outgoing way, rather, I was painfully shy (both painfully for myself and others).
People seemed to be able to see the good in me and so although I was shy and had my close kept group of friends I was mostly left alone by the ones who would be considered bullies. I do like to think that in my darkest times the meanest people could see that I was good and that it would be best to just leave me alone. Only once did I have to fight for myself and it wasn't a bad scuffle. Afterwards neither of us were bruised and we could be around each other without bothering the other.
Highschool was much worse for me than it could have been. By this time I was in a fairly constant state of high anxiety and depression. I won't fight for first place amongst those who were the scared and depressed in high school but I can say with certainty that my experience was an extreme version of what most people experience. But I was so highly idealistic that the idea of taking antidepressants for my "problem" was totally out of the question. A highly intuitive adult deeply involved in my life may have been able to diagnose and get me the proper medication but that was not in my cards. For the most part I was left to my own devices and anyone who took interest faced a solid wall of smoldering self sufficiency. Advice was given to me and grudgingly listened to. And while I do know I listened to everything anyone had to say in the way of advice and would even take it to heart there had to be some sort of impenetrable wall I was putting up, a vicious cone of silence, that firmly deterred people from taking an interest in me. But while in one respect I craved a certain kind of attention for the most part I was too afraid to accept the usual kind of attention that anyone would give me. I lived a life of constant solace and melancholy, but mostly melancholy. I knew I wanted my space and I made every effort at keeping a distance from people I didn't understand, peers and adults alike.
I didn't date in highschool but I did go out and had plenty of wild adventures and dreams with my friends. I suppose I sacrificed one for the other in a way as my friends got into drugs earlierish and after putting up huge resistance against joining them I was eventually broken down and realized I deeply resented the early propaganda that was DARE's influence for its totally biased opinion delivered as absolute facts. I wanted nothing more than to do the right thing and I often thought, prayed, and meditated for knowledge as to just what the right thing was. At first I thought that doing drugs was not the right then, later, I didn't care. Too much depression clouded my judgement and I was having far too interesting and entertaining experiences experimenting with whatever drugs I could get my hands on.
Not all my friends did drugs and at first my other friends didn't do drugs all of the time so I suppose you could say I eased into a steady state of inebriation. It didn't matter what it was, I was interested. All altered states were so fascinating to me and while inebriated I didn't feel the pain of depression nor too much anxiety (so long as I kept myself out of party type situations) so the fascination became more of a habit.
After highschool I had a short summer of drugs that I don't remember except as being full of the hope that now that I was free I could go out into the world to make my stake and make the world a better place, regardless of what it took or what I had to do. I went to college and barely lasted a semester. I was alone, had next to no access to drugs, and my depression annihilated my ability to work on learning even while I never missed any classes. I made the hard decision to leave after that first semester knowing that I couldn't continue to spend the money whilst I was not having a good experience or learning anything at all. It didn't help though that my first semester all I took was chemestry, math, and intro bs psychology.
The next five years were a blurring wiz of drugs and depression. With my public face I took care of people with developmental disabilities and worked a various assortment of other bottom feeder jobs. I volunteered a little bit. But mostly I spent my time trying to figure out life and myself. At one point I spent a year alone in Salina, KS trying to figure out if my depression was due to myself or my associations and decisions but I discovered that both aspects played an equal part in my life.
By the time I returned to Paola I was ready to start trying medications to fight my depression. I knew in my heart that there was nothing so terrible in my life that it was causing me to feel that way so it had to be some sort of chemical imbalance. It turned out I was right but still the trial and error process to figure out which medicine took another decade to figure out. During that time I tried them all for the recommended periods of time on at least two occasions and after the first five years we were trying combinations. Also through that length of time I had many different counselors (each one better than the last, thank God) and through their help and my perseverance a distant light slowly approached my life.
Near the end of this time period, from 2007 and on, I had gone back to school, earned my associates degree, and was working on a Bachelors in Philosophy with a Religious Studies minor. I was more studying those things for myself than for the job opportunities it would provide but I did have the expectation that I would be able to apply my studies towards anything that I was led to do just because of the critical thinking nature of it all.
Also in this time period I was discovered by my wife, and after several years and moving in with one another she proposed to me and we got married a couple of years later when we could afford to pay for a ceremony and short honeymoon. All that took so much time though because I was so unsure with myself and my depression still that I couldn't imagine dragging another person into such closeness of my life. I never wanted to subject another person to be in such proximity to me that they too experienced the depression that I constantly battled. But even though I told her many times that I didn't ever see us getting married she learned me and knew what she wanted and so when she proposed to me my love for her wouldn't allow me to say no.
We have still suffered but since that time I have finally come to a medicine, and a backup medicine, that has kept me depression free for over a couple years now and we are now living in the light at the end of that hugely disturbing and distant trip of self discovery I have been on. At this present time, 9/8/2013 we are battered and busted but not broken. We are in debt to our ears and we live from blessing to blessing but now the opportunities we are given aren't sometimes passed up or let down. We are struggling on a daily basis but we can see around us that we have done well and we have every reason to suspect that we are entering a very green spring in our financial and emotional lives. We have never been able to keep up plants but now every one of them is green and flowering and we have never applied ourselves right to find work that is appropriate to us and makes us happy but now we send out applications every day. And we are seeing the fruits of our labors before we get too exhausted to care anymore. We have every reason to believe that soon we won't have to be dependent on the kindness of our family and strangers but we will be able to return the favor to all those around us. Of course, the hurdles continue to arise but we have a way of anticipating them and accepting them whereas in the past all we could think of was to wonder how God to be so cruel as to kick the downtrodden. It has been no picnic but now we know how to deal with bad weather, ants, and to pack expecting the worst only to be prepared and to be thankful when the worst doesn't happen.
And all though the years we have done these things without ever slipping in our beliefs or selling our dignity so far that we haven't been able to reclaim what we lost. I won't say that we didn't give up a time or two and I can't say that we have always done the right thing. But we can look back and know that we haven't burned other people so badly that they went away from us and will never return. We look forward to the days when we can repay all the favors that have been passed to us, to pay it forward to others who are going through those times like us, and to enjoy the finer things in life without selling our most fundamental beliefs in the simple nature of things and the goodness that complete strangers can share.
So that's my story in a nutshell. The details (like in everyone's life) would make a book that someone might care to write some day but basically all I wanted to share was that my life hasn't been perfect but I am an honest person willing to work cheap for the right people. The right people being individuals and small businesses (as opposed to large companies) that simply show that they too are honest and in need. Because I believe that ultimately the most important thing in life is just the life that lives it and I will go far out of my way to protect it. But you don't have to take my word for it on that one because there is plenty of work to be done in this world and I am more than willing to do it. If you see me and speak with me you will quickly learn what I am doing in each moment to do just that, protect life from itself and others. We have nothing to fear; don't even fear 'fear' itself.
sincerely,
bryan