And, but, the one thing I was asked to do was dishes, there is so much more after that. I will get the dishes mostly done before I have to go to work but then there is so much else and time just keeps ticking by without any forward movement in the direction I want to be going because I HAVE to have these jobs just to be able to make rent. The thing is, I'm only getting minimum wage and like 25 to 30 hours per week. If we weren't getting food stamps and other poor person assistance from local groups we wouldn't even be sustaining ourselves in this apartment. Thank god Randi is working but she gets even less hours than I do and at minimum wage too.
My point is, I feel like I'm spinning my wheels...really, really fast. And when I get a moment to myself I'm all out of gas. Of course I should be looking for better work but whenever I become employed at a place I take it under my wing and I won't give up on it until it gives up on me or I just can't take the stupidity of it anymore. And how has this mentality of philanthropy served me? Only karmically, because it sure as hell hasn't helped me within society by improving my financial status. I mean, we have months over due credit cards (plural), student loans (plural), and a car payment for a car that we couldn't afford to repair (engine AND transmission, go figure, "why's it always gotta be like that?").
So anyway, ya, I still live by what I said in my last post but I felt too that I should state my frustrations of overwhelmed feelings and work. Oh yes, there is plenty of work to be done. The problem with it is that it either isn't paying out what it should or what it could. I keep hoping and wishing that some benevolent and intelligent figure will come along and see the value in myself and the people I collect around me because with just a little capital startup (ie, full time paying work at a grade that is more my level, say $20/hr) I wouldn't be spinning my wheels in sand and mud anymore. I'd finally be on the highway to fixing a lot more in this world than just the stupid derpy fabrics store. But again, there's a LOT more work that needs to be done before I can start to expect to run into said high rolling person, and hence, overwhelmed.