The letter.
When I was in jail there was one thing which really solidified for me. It was the belief that Jesus wasn't the one to make the greatest sacrifice ever for mankind. I believe that Satan has made the greatest sacrifice ever for mankind. See, God created Satan and God is omniscient and omniloving/all loving/perfect unconditional love(ing). Therefore, God would know Satan would rebel and God would know why, and that in the end Satan wants come back to God's infinite Love. And the end would be when all humanity has bowed unconditionally to the will of God. Just like in Constantine where the angel Gabriel comes to the conclusion that humanity needs destruction and despair to better come to God because when times are at their worst people are at their best, so to speak, or maybe the best rise to the occasion, idk. But my point is that I believe that Satan is actually making the greatest sacrifice ever for mankind by knowing God's true love and believing in it so much that Satan would break from God's true love in order to be the "bad cop" in a great game of good cop/bad cop to help mankind..do whatever it is that mankind is supposed to do..and acknowledge God as our best hope for happiness and survival.
It is in this capacity which I refer back to the time I said that sometimes I think you are intentionally trying to make my life harder. It isn't because I think you dislike me but that you see more in me and you are challenging me in order to become that. Because without that resistance one doesn't push back so hard; without the difficult we can't know the easy, without the good we can't know the bad; and I respect you enough that I'm going to believe without knowing now that you do understand me to this point.
So while I am saying that I believe that Satan intentionally made the greater sacrifice in choosing to be away from God's love until all of mankind has turned to God and for all the right reasons and I believe that you understand this, that you are Not like Job of the bible because imo you are more like Satan. And so skipping a further description of Job I'd like to make another point.
My wife told me that while I was in jail you told her, in no uncertain terms, and I quote her as telling me your words that you, "...do not believe in God..." And this to me didn't sound like you. In fact we were in the middle of a class and someone else was presenting and all of a sudden what my wife had to tell me was far more important, risking being rude to anyone else I needed to know right away how certain and in what way she was certain you had said those exact words. Because I know that you said once that I had told you I thought of you the same way. But it wasn't true, I had said, "I don'tknow if you believe in God."
So now I don't know what you are doing or where you are and I care. You left a bit of a mess and we cleaned it up and I don't care, if necessary, I forgive you, but it's not even like that. You subdued me again after I assaulted you and Randi and I thank you! I broke your TV and I'm sorry! Right now I just want to know you are OK because right now I am finally doing OK enough to be able to ask that question of another human being other than myself and Randi. It's taken some time (and another hospitalization) for me to be this ok but even more than your physical well being I really need to know and want you to believe that there IS a God. I have never received evidence or an experience which proves it to me deductively but inductively I have experimented in a great many ways and have bent logic to its maximum and I do believe in faith now that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a bug zapper or a soul grinder but that there is a God, Fear is the enemy, Satan is just a bad cop, and...of the things I want to believe and know in faith, I want to know that you are ok.
I found out yesterday that you did read my Facebook messages and I respect that you would not return the message. In fact, I give you the benefit of my doubt and believe that you didn't return the message for reasons which I don't understand but are to yours and mine greater benefit, or you believe that to be the case. But whether or not we ought to stay away from one another for our own best interests I do really want to know that you are OK and that you are at least not denying God's existence. I do know how God can let us suffer, and I know I haven't suffered nearly as much as many, many other people have, including you. But for the human there is always death, a final mercy to end the suffering. But if humans have immortal souls, or if there is an actual immortal Satan out there their suffering could be ever lasting! At the very least, if you can't believe that there isn't a God, please still be open to the fact that it is possible that there is a God (of some sort). And if you can't do it based on your own experiences then maybe you can do it based on mine. Do it based on anything, give up, throw in the towel, let your self go, be natural, don't care, be real, human, natural, and go to jail, or homeless, or whatever it is that breaks your strength but please,..don't give up on God, because without knowing how or why I believe that not believing that there is some sort of God is...very not good. I don't know why, but for some reason it is very concerning to me and I want to know that you are OK and you don't deny that there could be a God.
love,
sincerely,
bryan